Did I Stress? Oh Teacher...

TEACHER

These actual student answers illustrate why teachers get long vacation.
Teacher: Why can't freshwater fish live in salt water?
Student: The salt would give them high blood pressure.
Teacher: Mira went to the library at 5.15 and left at 6.45. How long was Mira at the library?
Student: Not long...

BOXING

Adam: Help me doctor. Every night I dream that I am boXing.
Doctor: And do you wake up in the morning feeling all beaten up?
Adam: Not me doctor. Just my wife.

SURGEONS

Four surgeons were on a lunch break talking about their work.
Surgeon 1 : I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them inside and everything inside is numbered.
Surgeon 2 : I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order.
Surgeon 3 : I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is colour coded.
Surgeon 4 : I like to operate on lawyers. They are spineless, gutless and their heart isn't there.

GPS

Bob: Are you visiting uss tomorrow? Do you need directions?
Matt: No. I'm all set. I have the address, a GPS and a GPS override.
Bob: What's GPS override?
Matt: My wife.